Room at the Top Read online

  Room at the Top

  Jane Davitt & Alexa Snow

  www.loose-id.com

  Room at the Top

  Copyright © September 2011 by Jane Davitt & Alexa Snow

  All rights reserved. This copy is intended for the original purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this e-book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without prior written permission from Loose Id LLC. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author's rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  eISBN 978-1-61118-569-0

  Editor: Judith David

  Cover Artist: Valerie Tibbs

  Printed in the United States of America

  Published by

  Loose Id LLC

  PO Box 425960

  San Francisco CA 94142-5960

  www.loose-id.com

  This e-book is a work of fiction. While reference might be made to actual historical events or existing locations, the names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Warning

  This e-book contains sexually explicit scenes and adult language and may be considered offensive to some readers. Loose Id LLC’s e-books are for sale to adults ONLY, as defined by the laws of the country in which you made your purchase. Please store your files wisely, where they cannot be accessed by under-aged readers.

  * * *

  DISCLAIMER: Please do not try any new sexual practice, especially those that might be found in our BDSM/fetish titles without the guidance of an experienced practitioner. Neither Loose Id LLC nor its authors will be responsible for any loss, harm, injury or death resulting from use of the information contained in any of its titles.

  Chapter One

  Austin Fisher was on his knees.

  The carpet beneath him was thin and rough—probably easy to clean, though, which might be why it had been chosen. Another thirty minutes and he’d have rug burn, because no matter how hard he tried to stay absolutely still, it was impossible. He could feel colder air seeping through the wall behind him; it made the sheen of sweat on his bare, aching ass more noticeable, even with the majority of his attention focused on his boyfriend, Jay, and on the third man in the room.

  Jay knelt too, but in an awkward position over a padded chair that Austin thought was probably meant for something other than what it was now being used for. Like sitting on. Jay’s naked ass was red, and his hands gripped the wooden frame of the chair tightly as the tall man standing over him repeatedly struck him with a slapper, the looped leather belt landing with a solid snap that made Austin tense as if it was his ass on the receiving end.

  Jay wasn’t happy, Austin could tell. The sounds Jay made after he’d called out the number of each stroke were frustrated—even desperate—as if something was wrong, but Austin couldn’t figure out the cause. It didn’t matter. The night had been a disappointment, and it wasn’t likely either of them would be back for more. Jay had just four strokes to go of his fifty and then they could get dressed, go home, and try to salvage something from the evening. Austin wanted their bed, Jay curled up against him, his long hair getting in the way when Austin kissed him. He wanted to take the sting out of Jay’s ass with a cool, wet cloth and tell him just how hot he’d looked bent over, and he wanted to see Jay smile.

  Three to go.

  “Sauron!” Jay said, using his safe word for the first time in months. “Sauron!”

  Austin broke position without thinking. He scrambled to his feet and felt his cramped leg muscles protest the sudden change.

  “Stay where you are,” Niall said sharply. Austin assumed the command was directed at him, and he hesitated, willing to let Niall handle Jay and bring him down slowly, but wanting to be there for Jay too.

  “Just three more to go,” Niall said and planted his hand firmly in the small of Jay’s back, holding him down. “You can take it, boy.”

  Niall raised the belt, and Austin’s uncertainty fled. He jumped forward and grabbed Niall’s wrist hard enough that he could feel tendon grinding against bone. “No.”

  “I’m the one in charge here.” Niall didn’t sound convinced of that anymore, though, and Austin knew that was all it took in a situation like this.

  Playtime was over.

  “No,” he said again. “He safe worded. You can’t be stupid enough not to know what that means.”

  Austin was excruciatingly aware of Jay’s breathing, harsh and uneven, but he also knew that until Niall relented, there was no option but to restrain the other man’s hand. Jay was in a vulnerable position, and protection was more important than reassurance at that moment.

  He tightened his grip on Niall’s wrist. Niall winced, then nodded, and Austin felt the man’s arm muscles relax. “Right,” Niall said. “I was caught up. Yeah, we’re done. Jay, are you—”

  “Don’t touch him,” Austin snapped, and Niall stepped back, his eyes wary. “Give us a minute. Alone.”

  He didn’t wait longer than it took Niall to move away before dropping back to his knees, this time so he could gather Jay into his arms.

  “Easy,” he said gently as he helped Jay to get off the chair. “Take it slow. Deep breaths. Are you dizzy?”

  “I’m okay.” Jay didn’t sound it. His brown eyes looked unfocused, hazy. Jay didn’t always go deeply into a scene. He had a tendency to get distracted, something he could hide successfully enough that whoever was his dom didn’t notice, but tonight he’d let himself fall without hesitation.

  For once that’d been a mistake.

  “You don’t look it.”

  Jay shook his head, more to clear it than in denial, Austin guessed. “It wasn’t working for me. I told him to stop. I did, didn’t I? I said it?”

  “Yeah,” Austin said, anger burning through him. Jay’s safe word had made him roll his eyes and grin when Jay had chosen it, but hearing it used, it hadn’t seemed weird at all. Just very Jay. “You did.”

  Jay was taller than Austin by a few inches, but hunched over and pressing close, he felt smaller. He rubbed his forehead against Austin’s shoulder, his exhaled breath warm against Austin’s bare skin. “Thought so. Niall’s an asshole.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m not,” Niall said, and Austin, who’d assumed he’d left the room, turned his head to look at him. “It was an honest mistake.”

  “There wasn’t anything honest about it.” Austin wanted to stand up and shout at Niall, intimidate him, make him feel something of what it was like to be on the other side of the equation. He felt like it was more important to stay with Jay, though, so he kept his voice low.

  “There was.” Niall came closer, holding out his hands—look, not a threat—and then sat down cross-legged on the floor. “I was caught up in the scene, and it didn’t register. Jay, I’m sorry. It wasn’t deliberate.”

  “Okay.” Jay didn’t look at Niall.

  “No, really. I’m sorry.” Niall sounded genuinely upset.

  “We know,” Austin said. “Just give us a minute here, will you?” He slid a hand under Jay’s hair to the back of his neck and rubbed it. “It’s okay. Everything’s good. Take all the time you need. No hurry.” He’d sit here all night holding Jay if that was what it took.

  “You were so close to the end,” Niall said, like that mattered. “Three more. I wanted you to feel like you’d accomplished something, I guess. Crossed the finish line.”

  “It’s not a race,” Jay said. The trace of irritation in his deep, slow voice was heartening. He straightened, and Austin let his hand slide d
own Jay’s back, unwilling to break contact with him. “The numbers don’t matter, just how I’m feeling, and it wasn’t working for me at all. Couldn’t you tell?”

  “How am I supposed to—” Niall broke off. “Jesus, it’s not like I’m a mind reader. You could’ve said something, maybe given me a hint, not just ended it like that. When we started the scene, you two said you were up for a good, hard paddling, and that’s what I gave you.” There was a hint of sulkiness in his expression now, his remorse fading visibly as he worked himself up, justifying his actions. “Two of you…it’s a lot of work, you know? My shoulder’s going to be killing me tomorrow, and I’m supposed to be going indoor rock climbing with my boss. I hate those team-building exercises.”

  “You’re unbelievable,” Austin said flatly. “You were drooling at the thought of playing with us when I called you.”

  “Yeah, well, I thought I’d be getting something good out of it,” Niall said. “I’ve never had a threesome before, and it sounded hot. Like a porn movie or something.” He cleared his throat and scratched at his jaw, sheepish but hopeful. “How about I get us a drink and we can just, you know, move on?”

  “To the bedroom?” Jay said. “Is that what you mean?”

  “Well, yes.” Niall shrugged, more relaxed now, as if he thought the awkwardness was behind them. “I get off on the spanking and the games as much as you two. You know I do, or you wouldn’t have asked me to set this up for you. Doesn’t mean that’s all I’m interested in. What do you two do? I’m up for pretty much anything.”

  “Then I hope you’re up for an evening alone, because we’re going home.” Austin uncurled himself from around Jay, stood, and held out a hand to pull Jay to his feet. “Get your clothes.”

  “You aren’t in charge either, you know,” Jay complained but went to do as he’d been told.

  “What do you mean, going home? Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Niall stood too, hands on his hips.

  There was something intimidating about being naked next to a man who was fully dressed, but Austin was stubborn and used to getting his way.

  Austin ran a hand through his hair. “Nope. And you’re not going to change our minds, so you might as well give up now.”

  “Fine. Whatever. But you should know if this is the kind of thing you do, you’re going to have a hard time finding partners. People don’t like to be used.” Niall sounded like a sulky teenager, and Austin knew from experience that the way to handle them was to ignore their attitude.

  “Are you good?” he asked Jay, pretending Niall wasn’t even there.

  Jay could take his sweet time dressing in the morning, ignoring the clock and Austin’s verbal prodding, drifting around their small apartment absently chewing on a piece of toast, crumbs floating down, but Austin was glad to see that tonight Jay was in no mood to linger. Their shoes were by the front door, and Jay’s shirt hung unbuttoned over a faded T-shirt declaring I’M NOT MOVING UNTIL I’VE HAD MY SECOND BREAKFAST, but other than that, he was ready to leave.

  Jay moved, shielding Austin from Niall’s view. His shoulders were still rounded, his head ducked, but that was normal for Jay. In the two years they’d been together, Austin had never figured out if Jay’s posture was due to his hobby, his job, or a desire to take up as little space as possible in the world. Maybe a little from every column. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

  He sounded bored, but Austin didn’t fool himself that Jay was ready to put what had just happened behind him. Jay would most likely refuse to talk about it in detail, but eventually he’d finish mulling it over and vent. Austin just hoped it was sooner rather than later. The longer Jay waited, the worse the meltdown would be.

  Austin dressed quickly, his skin crawling because he knew without looking that Niall, who’d gone over to fiddle with the strap he’d been using, was watching him. He was too raw from hearing Jay’s voice crack as he’d yelled out his safe word to feel any sympathy for Niall’s blue balls. Even if the scene had played out better, there was no way they would’ve ended up in bed with Niall. He’d made that clear when he’d called to arrange the evening, but Niall had only heard what he’d wanted to by the sound of it. With Patrick, they’d been happy to blow him if he wanted that when the session was over, the two of them on their knees, their mouths saying thank you without words, as he stroked their hair or gripped their shoulders, his body taut with need.

  Patrick had understood that Austin and Jay didn’t want anyone else in their bed or their relationship—just someone who could give them what they needed as subs. Niall would never have gotten that, and maybe it was unrealistic to expect him to. Unlike Patrick, he wasn’t still emotionally committed to someone else.

  Austin wanted to go back to the time when Patrick was living just a few miles away, not on the other side of the country. He couldn’t grudge Patrick the new start the man had made, though he still missed him. Maybe they could call him over the weekend. Their good-bye gift to him had been a webcam, and Austin had installed it and run through the basics of setting up Skype, with Patrick dubious but indulgent.

  “It’s better than just talking,” Jay had said, pushing his hair back behind his ears so he could give Patrick an earnest look. “You can see us.”

  “I’ve grasped that much,” Patrick had said drily.

  “And it’s free. No long-distance charges.”

  “I’m convinced. And grateful. You’re both very sweet, and I wish…”

  “You don’t,” Austin had said quickly. “It’s going to be great, Patrick. The job sounds perfect, your apartment’s right by the beach and—”

  “And I won’t miss Dan as much out there?”

  Jay had put his arms around Patrick then, a comforting, clumsy hug. “Yeah, you will. You don’t want to stop. Not yet. It’s too soon. But it’ll be easier someplace different. We get that.”

  Austin and Jay both missed Patrick for himself, as well as what he’d been able to give them, but it had been more than two months before they’d talked about what they were going to do without him. They both craved the emotional release being with an experienced dom brought. That they were a couple and determined to remain that way meant not just any dom would do. Meeting Patrick had been little more than luck, and recasting the role he’d filled was going to be difficult—if not downright impossible.

  In desperation one night, they’d attempted a scene on their own, with Austin playing the dom role. It had been a complete disaster. He hadn’t been able to get into the right head space, which left Jay understandably frustrated and Austin alternating between apologies and near hysterical giggling.

  Niall had been recommended by a friend, and though Austin believed he hadn’t had high hopes for the encounter, his sense of disappointment as they got into the car told him he’d been fooling himself. “Well,” he said, putting the key into the ignition but not starting the car. “That sucked.”

  “Beyond words,” Jay agreed and put a hand on Austin’s thigh. “You okay?”

  “I’m not the one who safe worded and then was ignored,” Austin pointed out. “Jesus.” It was still sinking in.

  Jay patted his thigh, comforting him as if Austin had been the one pinned down. “Yeah, but you didn’t enjoy it much, either. I could tell.”

  True enough. The paddling Austin had gotten had felt good to start with, the familiarity of the act soothing. He loved getting his ass spanked red, the sizzle sinking in deep until it spread through him, leaving him wrung out and satisfied. He could climax from it if it was done right, needing nothing but a word of permission followed by one more perfect, painful slap. Niall hadn’t brought him even close to that delicious euphoria. Austin had soon realized Niall’s ideas of what constituted a paddling were basic to say the least. Placement, rhythm, force, the sweet cruelty of a pause with a few well-chosen words spoken in a clear voice cutting through the roar in his ears…none of that had been present. Niall had bent him over, groped his ass in a way Austin had resented, then walloped him with a brisk ent
husiasm that had petered off quickly.

  Niall had been right about one thing: His shoulder was going to ache tomorrow. The man was out of shape.

  “He couldn’t.”

  Jay sighed and picked at a frayed spot on his jeans, just above his knee. “Like I said. He’s an asshole. We really blew it tonight. Patrick’s going to freak when we tell him.”

  “We don’t have to tell him.”

  Jay turned his head, the long, straight fall of his hair swaying forward. “He’ll know something’s wrong.”

  That was too much a given for Austin to even bother arguing. “Well, it’s not like he can do anything to us when he’s thousands of miles away.”

  Even he could hear the longing in his voice. He wanted Patrick to tell them they’d been reckless and come up with some inventive way to punish them that would leave all three of them smiling when it was over. Knowing it wasn’t going to happen and they were on their own was more painful than anything Niall had done.

  Jay shifted in his seat. “My ass hurts. I want to go home. I feel”—he gestured impatiently with his hands, his long fingers graceful, expressive—“like a firework that didn’t get to go bang. Fuck. I really, really wanted this to work out for us.”

  “I know. Me too.” Austin sighed and started the car. “Well, let’s get you home, at least.”

  They didn’t talk much on the way back, which was usual for them following a scene, but for entirely different reasons. Usually they were happily post-orgasm and exhausted, looking forward to a long shower and a deep, peaceful sleep. Tonight their silence was about the frustration they shared and the reality that they were once again out of options.

  “We’ll be okay,” Jay said as they thumped their way up the long, narrow staircase that led to their apartment on the second floor of the old Victorian they called home. “Hey, come on. You’re supposed to agree with me.”

  “Yeah. We’ll be okay.” It didn’t sound particularly convincing. “Ow! Shit, Jay, when are you going to do something about these books?” Austin had tripped yet again over a stack of books, this one piled near the door.